The truth is: I worry. I fret. Is my work good enough? Will they have a good time? Does anyone read my blog? I don’t have the same equipment, how can I compete? What will I do if I don’t book any more weddings? Why can’t I be more like that photographer? My head sometimes goes dizzy with doubts and fears. There is an immense pressure to focus on recruiting more brides, bringing in more family sessions. Though I’ve loved the last two weekends off, I felt ashamed to admit that of the hundreds of brides in our area getting married on those dates, though I’d received several inquiries, nobody wanted me. It makes my head dizzy and my heart sick. There’s a problem with all of this. Can you spot it?
The problem is that all of these questions and doubts and fears have ME at the center of them. Me, me, me. I, I, I. That’s what happens when you live in you-land where everything is about you and depends on you and is devastating when YOU aren’t in control or don’t measure up. The real truth is that it’s not about me as the center of things. It’s about the Lord. When I sit back and take myself out of the center of the universe and recognize that in scripture God has told me, Psalm 136, that he has every day of my life planned for me. He knew them before I was even born! That really means that he knows when I need two weekends in a row off, he has in mind exactly how many clients that I’ll have and when I’ll have them. He has created me to be ME and that’s why I’m not more like that other photographer. I hope you can see how very relieving this is! I don’t have to worry because God has provided for me. He’s provided me with this gift, with past clients, and has a plan for every day of my future. And then what is my role? To love Him for it, to thank Him, to honor Him and to try and live in such a way that other people will see Him in my life. Somedays it’s hard for me to remember that, so that’s why I’m putting here, just in case any else reads this blog, lol, and just in case they might need to be reminded too.
God also has a way of reminding me that I do what I do for my clients. Not for the ones that I’d like to have some day. I can’t be about working and trying hard so that other photographers will want to be my friend. I don’t do it so that I can get an ego boost. I do it to be a part of capturing memories, moments and relationships. So my friends, my clients. I’m doing this for you. Thank you for trusting me and reminding me why this is all worth it!
4 comments